6 Foreplay Ideas To Try

While it’s one of the best ways to boost intimacy and allow ample time to build up to the big bang, the average couple engages in some form of foreplay for just over 10 minutes before sex. 

While this speedy duration of foreplay might seem like no big deal if you still do the deed, it might be a big deal for your partner. 

Research has shown that less than one in 10 women have time to work their way up to “unassisted orgasms” naturally during intercourse, and a whopping 67 percent of women admit to faking orgasm during sex.

What Is Foreplay, Exactly?

Foreplay is a set of activities and communications meant to increase arousal before sexual intercourse, penetrative sex or another intimate activity. Basically, any non-penetrative intimate act could be defined as a type of foreplay if it gets the body and brain primed for orgasm during the sexual encounter.

Foreplay can be physical, verbal, digital — or all or none of the above. It can happen right before sex, throughout the day or even days before.

That said, the average couple engages in some form of foreplay for roughly 10 minutes before sex.

What’s the Point of Foreplay?

You’re not the first guy to wonder this.

Research has shown that less than 10 percent of women have time to work their way up to “unassisted orgasms” naturally during intercourse. And a disheartening 67 percent of women admit to faking orgasm during sex.

With that in mind, foreplay is one of the best ways to boost intimacy and allow ample time to build up to the big bang. And it benefits both men and women.

Benefits of Foreplay

Here are a few of the main benefits of foreplay:

• It gives you a chance to warm up. Foreplay gives partners who need more time to produce lubrication or become aroused for penetrative sex time to relax and feel excitement. This might be helpful for women with vaginal dryness and men with psychological ED (erectile dysfunction) or sexual performance anxiety.

• It gets you on the same page. Men and women actually tend to desire the same amount of foreplay as their partners. Why? You can get on the same page by connecting, expressing desires or simply spicing things up.

• It might make sex more satisfying. Once you get to the actual act (whether it’s penetration or something else), foreplay might give you and your partner a better chance at reaching orgasm. It could also help you last longer.

• It’s fun. In same-sex or heterosexual relationships, the best types of foreplay feel playful, tantalizing and fun.

Want to be better in bed? See our guides on how to boost sexual performance and how to have a healthy sex life.

Remember: Foreplay Is Different for Everyone

It’s vital to remember that each partner’s mindset plays a huge role in successful foreplay. And everyone’s idea of it is different.

For some, it might be all about heavy petting, and for others, it could be more verbal.

Translation? Foreplay is very personal, so we can’t confidently say that any methods work across the board.

9 Foreplay Ideas for Men

As mentioned, foreplay isn’t a one-size-fits-all game. Everyone is different, so it’s worth exploring different types of foreplay.

Having said that, trying (or suggesting to your partner) an array of ideas for foreplay might help you find the right trick to turn them on.

You may not find the perfect “how to foreplay” technique the first time. But trial and error will make the lead-up to the main event more fun — and hopefully satisfying — for everyone.

1. Warm Up With Kissing

While it may seem straightforward, kissing is a great intimate activity to increase feelings of sexual pleasure and sensitivity — and an excuse to let your hands wander.

Kissing doesn’t have to be lips-only, either — you can lick, nibble and find other inventive ways to use your mouth.

2. Pivot to Oral Sex

Of course one of the best ways to use your mouth before (or in lieu of) penetrative sex is oral sex.

Oral sex can allow both partners to reach climax and thoroughly enjoy the sexual experience without having to worry about proper lubrication and other things that may be hard to rely on every time you’re both in the mood.

3. Make Time for Sexting

Dirty talk might be a fan-favorite when video chatting, talking on the phone or connecting with your partner in person. Sending flirty, intimate text messages can be just as fun and effective by increasing both partners’ excitement throughout the day.

Try sending your partner something to read about your plans for the evening so they can spend the day imagining the scenarios. Consider adding pictures — with consent and confirmation of private viewing, of course.

4. Snuggle Up for Cuddling

Often considered an “after” activity (or what some call afterplay), cuddling is a great way to enjoy each other’s physical presence and have skin contact.

It can also lead quickly to several of our favorite sex positions for when missionary could use a night off.

5. Roleplay and Dress-Up

Emotional foreplay can help you work up to physical foreplay. One of the best ways to get into each other’s heads is by dressing up or engaging in roleplay.

For instance, you might try wearing the same outfit you wore when you first met or on your most intimate date night — snap a photo of yourself in it and send it to your partner.

Roleplay allows both partners to experiment and try out potentially intimidating scenarios within the safety and trust of each other’s company. It can also allow you to revisit favorite positions and techniques with a new lens.

Unsure of where to start or which foreplay tip for men to try first? Take cues from a sexual movie or story.

Watch together to set the mood, or follow the characters’ lead if you’re comfortable with the types of sensual foreplay they’re engaging in.

Not so hot on porn? There are even some erotic podcasts you can listen to together.

Because let’s not forget: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

6. Use Positive Reinforcement

“Words of affirmation” are one of the five love languages for a reason — humans adore hearing what others enjoy about them.

To try this as a foreplay technique, tell your partner what you love about them and their body, what feels best when they do it, or what turns you on about them. Be sure to ask what they desire as well.

7. Sensual Touch

Sensual foreplay can be even zestier with an unexpected element.

Try a game of “getting warmer:” After the receiver picks one erogenous zone on their own body, the other person can use their hands — or mouth — to try and find the hot spot.

As they move around, the body-zone picker can direct their moves with “getting warmer” and “getting colder” verbal tips.

8. Mix It Up

If you always engage in foreplay at night, mixing it up with some dayplay might be enough to feel spicy. Whether it’s sharing sensual massages, dry humping or deep kissing, carve out some time for foreplaying techniques right after you both wake up.

Or if darkness is typically the scene, give it a go with the lights on.

The point is, foreplay is sometimes as simple as changing your typical sex routine.

9. Try a Toy

If you’re both on board, using lube and one or more sex toys (like a penis vibrator ring or a classic bullet vibrator) can be a fantastic way to transition from emotional foreplay to sensual foreplay — and ease the way into intercourse.

The Bottom Line on Foreplay

Is foreplay important? You bet!

Here’s a recap of what we covered:

• Setting the mood for what’s to come and warming things up with your partner are among the best ways to ensure you’re both enjoying this shared time to the fullest.

• Foreplay examples to try (not necessarily in any particular order) include kissing, oral sex, sexting, cuddling, roleplay and dress-up, positive reinforcement, sensual touch, mixing up your routine and introducing sex toys.

• Not everyone will like everything, and some approaches may not come naturally at first. Be sure to communicate with your partner along the way to make sure they’re comfortable and enjoying themself.

If you still find it challenging to get going after trying these foreplay tips, consider an online consultation with a healthcare provider for erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. Our licensed professionals can help you figure out what’s going on and reignite your sex life.

Hims also offers prescription ED medications, including Viagra® (and generic sildenafil), Cialis® (and its generic tadalafil) and Stendra® (avanafil). Not into taking pills? We have chewable ED meds in the form of hard mints.